Yesterday I started this blog, with full gusto I was hell bent on chasing down a career that I'd enjoy and be proud to tell people of. This morning that gusto has diminished, in fact it's down right fucked off. I don't know if its doubts in myself setting in or simply that I've got a long shift at the shithole today. Who knows but today I lack the enthusiasm I had yesterday.
I had a buddy come over and I let it slip of my plans, I always do this, and since then it's felt like a deflated balloon. Maybe he didn't share the same enthusiasm as myself or I didn't get the reaction I maybe subconsciously wanted, "Whoa man, that's perfect for you, you're hilarious, you're gonna be huge, the next big thing", either way my mindset differed to when I started.
That being said, I am still determined to do this. I know I have this way of thinking that I'm going to achieve what I set out to do over night, which of course isn't the case and hopefully will be a lesson learned throughout this process. It's going to take a long time with a lot of work but I have to keep at it.
I do genuinely believe that I can do this and I'm going to have to stay positive and focused throughout.
Right, staying positive. So far this blog appears to be taking the role of a psychiatrist and I'm typing my first world problems like a little keyboard bitch.
So what is this blog going to be? I have no Idea, but I'm going to try and blog at least every other day just keeping a journal of where I am and what I'm thinking. Not sure if it's going to be any use of if I'm just going to look back on this next year and cringe so bad I fold inside out.
I have been thinking since, what am I good at? Well, what am I funny at more like, personally I think I can take the piss like a beast. Not bullying just good old fashioned piss taking. In fact my piss taking is so other worldly that whatever it be that I'm ripping up on becomes and entirely new creation. So there's that. But what am I going to do, just write page after page of me talking shit about anything I can think of? I don't know, does that exist? Can that exist? People do love to bitch, I've definitely learned that throughout my shitty job travels, like a poundland George Orwell.
So maybe it could, but what would I bitch about? Would it come across like some kind of word stand up act? I hope not because just reading that sounds shit "Come read this guys shit, it's stand up but with words, that you read, alone" fuck that.
Then I thought maybe I could review some stuff, I say stuff because what the fuck would I review? If it were games, I'd have to sit through full games. Films, I'd have to go to the cinema every fucking week. Books? Well, you get the idea, I don't have a strong enough interest in one thing to dedicate my time writing a critic on it. Maybe I could review reviews? Review my own life? Clouds? My dogs logs?
But maybe if this blog is a going to be a regular thing I could maybe just put my two cents into whatever's bothering me at the time. I can be opinionated and I'm pretty shit hot at being negative which is usually frowned upon, but maybe I could bring it back. Negativity is the new positivity?
Positive negativity?
It's a starting point, and no doubt will be a learning curve, so lets go with that.
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